[chattering, laughing]
[bird twittering]
[bird calling]
[chattering, laughing continue]
[woman laughing]
[chattering, laughing continue]
[man] â™ª Make you go away, go away â™ª
â™ª Where it's sunny â™ª
â™ª In July â™ª
â™ª Romance another day â™ª
â™ª Go away where it's sunny â™ª
[man on radio] The AR-15 used in the incident was legally registered.
- [engine revs] - The governor called this mass shooting
â€œa horrific but ultimately unpreventable tragedy.â€
Up next, the Weekend Movie Minute with C.J. Doons.
[woman] Just look at those goddamn monkeys.
Why don't we turn this off, huh?
The way they shoved this country
right down the fuckin' stinker.
Keep your gigantic monkey dick
out of my good pussy.
Did...?
Did she have any last words?
[beeping]
[man vocalizing]
[tires screech]
â™ª Go â™ª
â™ª Away â™ª
[man on PA, indistinct]
[men] â™ª No, no, no, no â™ª
â™ª Never forget â™ª
â™ª No, no, no, no â™ª
â™ª Never forget it â™ª
Are you reading the Elsewhere Saga?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm reading King of the Hidden Dark.
- Book two. Yeah. - Yeah.
I read those a while ago.
- My God. - Yeah.
I'm... at the bit...
It's like right before, um, the Battle of the...
The Tanhauser Gate.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I know. Yeah.
- It's... really intense. - God.
I just... Yeah.
It's so intense. I'm just, like, the whole time I feel like...
I know.
â€œArchers, to me!â€
- Yeah. - Yes!
- It's so good. - It's so fucking good.
Yeah.
[laughs] It's crazy.
You know her real father is actually the war mage.
Yeah.
Ca...? Captain Borgo?
He's Lady Kieran's real father, yeah.
- Fuck. - When I read that, I was like,
â€œWhat the fuck?â€
- Yeah. - It's coming up. You'll see.
Thank you.
Clues were all there, if you think about it, but...
Have a good night.
[engine stops]
Un-fucking-believable.
[clanging]
The fuck?
[sighs]
[clattering]
[clattering continues]
Fuck.
[woman] Various prescription medications,
a laptop computer
and then the silverware in here.
Anything else?
Not-Not that I can see.
But, um...
the silver was my grandma's.
[man] Were they painkillers?
[woman] What? Sorry.
Uh, the medications.
Uh, no, it was, um...
clonazepam
and, um, Lexapro.
Uh, you try one of those, um...
location apps?
Yeah, I tried that, but the laptop's turned off.
Oh, well, they'll probably wipe it anyway, unless they're morons.
- Huh. - You have a hide-a-key?
One of those little fake rock thingies?
I don't, no.
[man] Okay.
Uh,
you leave that unlocked when you go out?
No, not usually. No.
But you did today.
I... I don't remember.
I mean, I...
- I'm just saying that... - I think I locked it.
Wasn't a forced entry though.
So...
So, uh...
what should I do now?
Uh, about what?
I mean...
do you call me or...?
Oh. Yeah.
If anything is recovered, someone will be in contact.
Your case number's on that form, if you have renter's insurance.
But...
you're gonna look, right?
Miss, uh, we will do everything we're able to.
In the meantime, I suggest you pay a little closer attention
to your home security.
Don't give 'em an opening.
Okay.
- [engine starts] - Okay, thank you.
[clattering]
Hey.
I'm not bothering you, am I?
It's the... violation, man.
The stuff...
that's replaceable.
I...
Well, the silver's not, but...
The thing that really hurts, you know, is the fucking violation.
I mean, these people...
were inside my house.
[sighs] I'm sorry.
All right.
â€œRays from some stars are thousands of years old before they reach your eyes.
Human bodies are made of dust and gases from inside of stars.
The universe is 14 billion years old.
No one knows what came before.
No one knows how big the universe actually is.
It...
It could be infinite.â€
[cries]
- Jesus. - Mom!
- I'm sorry. - She's fine. Don't worry about it.
She's just, you know, five and not used to talking about death yet.
I'm so sorry.
A fucked-up thing happened to you. You're allowed to be upset.
Patient died today.
I was in the room.
Oh.
She was special, huh?
No.
She sucked.
- Huh. - Oh, yeah.
She was a real shithead.
But it doesn't matter.
They'll roll her out...
and she'll become smoke.
Just...
carbon.
My grandma Sally, that was her silver that they stole, you know?
Yeah.
She literally breathed life into people who'd been exploded.
- She was a war nurse. - Yeah, I remember.
Spent her retirement bringing dinner to folks with cancer.
And then she had a stroke...
and she was just... just carbon too.
And now I'm the only one who remembers any of that,
and pretty soon...
I'll just be carbon.
So none of it matters.
It does matter. She did happen, so...
The way people treat each other
is just...
They're disgusting. They're disgusting.
The-The fucking...
taking.
- Do you know what I mean? - Yeah, but, Ruthie, you gotta stop.
- Fucking taking. Mine, mine. - Ruthie. Ruthie, Ruthie.
- Fuck you. - Ruthie, stop, stop, stop. Stop.
You're gonna make yourself sick.
[sighs]
You've got it better than a lot of people. You know that, right?
But everyone...
is an asshole.
No, not everyone.
- Yes, and dildos. Yes. - That's not true.
- That is not true. - Fuck-faces.
Ruthie.
So what? So what?
It's just a sneeze. It's just, uh...
chemistry and math and...
Uh, so what?
Sweetie, come on.
Sometimes I feel like I'm...
like, underneath a whirlpool and...
[car door closes]
Like I can't even breathe.
- Like I'm just... - [door opens]
Internet date?
Uh, no, Ruthie's house got robbed.
What?
That's terrible.
- [Ruth] Do you mind if I sleep here? - Oh, my God, of course.
Dan will make up the couch.
Right, honey?
- [insects buzzing] - [dog barking]
Oh.
Aw. Is this me?
Mm-hmm.
Is it a dragon?
Stegosaurus.
I fuckin' love it.
[rock music on headphones]
You've been shitting in my yard.
I have not.
Your dog.
Okay? I saw you.
There is a sign there. It says â€œno shitting.â€
- It says that? - It's a...
It's a picture, okay?
It's like a little poop with a...
That's what it means.
Well, I didn't see it.
You shouldn't need a sign.
What is wrong with you?
Fine.
â™ª Hot â™ª
[fingers snapping]
â™ª Hot â™ª
- Yeah? - Hi, sir.
My house got robbed yesterday.
Suspicious?
Furtive?
Sneaky and...
I-I know what furtive is.
Yeah, this Dominican fella came around here this morning with a push mower.
Son of bitches.
That's-That's what I thought.
Told him I could take care of my lawn. Good try.
I'll tell you somethin'.
Why don't you leave me your number?
Um, if I think of somethin'...
Mmm.
Uh, what is it?
Oh, it's just some regular yogurt you can sip on.
I'm sorry that happened, but I don't know anything to tell you.
Yeah, okay.
[hard rock music playing]
[man vocalizing]
â™ª Roll that â™ª
[music continues]
[man] Four. Get some!
E-Excuse me.
â™ª Put that fucker on your motherfucking shoulder â™ª
[music stops]
I said I was sorry.
You said, uh, â€œfine.â€
The implication being that I meant...
Okay, never mind. Never mind.
- Don't... - Hey!
- Wait up. - [sighs]
Look, that's not me.
Leaving a BM in your yard? That-That's not who I am.
I-I was embarrassed.
Sometimes I just get so deep in my thoughts, you know?
Like, deep, and I don't even notice what Kevin's doing.
Oh, uh...
forget it.
You can hit me.
- What? - One strike.
To balance the energy between us. I won't defend myself.
Okay.
I think, uh...
[clears throat]
So, um, why are you here?
My house got robbed.
When?
Yesterday.
- Did you call the authorities? - Yeah.
I...
I don't know. It seemed like they couldn't really do anything, so...
I'm just asking around, you know, seeing if anyone saw anyone or...
What did they take?
Uh...
They... They took my computer.
And they... they took my grandma's silver,
which is really what...
[barking]
AnjÃ¬ng! AnjÃ¬ng!
[barking stops]
That makes me...
so furious!
- [barking] - I...
I'm-I'm sorry to have bothered you.
No, you did not bother me.
This affects all of us.
Kevin, stop it!
Okay. All right, so...
See ya. Bye, Kevin. Bye.
Um, is there anything I can do?
Oh, I think I'm good.
I think I-I... I got it.
Um...
thank you for everything.
[clears throat]
[barking continues]
[woman] â™ª The angels stood watching â™ª
â™ª Our slow tangled fall â™ª
â™ª Reaching for heaven â™ª
â™ª In spite of it all â™ª
â™ª They can't do a thing â™ª
â™ª For the people downstairs â™ª
â™ª Bring out the Bible â™ª
â™ª Ain't got a prayer â™ª
[man, woman] â™ª There stands the mountain â™ª
[man] â™ª Oh â™ª
[man and woman] â™ª We tumbled down â™ª
â™ª That rough, rocky shoreline â™ª
â™ª We ran aground â™ª
[man] â™ª There's peace in the valley â™ª
[cell phone chimes]
[man, woman] â™ª We never made it down there â™ª
- [chimes] - â™ª So bring out the Bible â™ª
Holy shit.
[chimes]
Fuck. Um...
Ah.
[beeping]
[chimes]
[line rings]
You've reached Detective Bendix with, uh, Robbery...
- [sighs] - [cell phone chimes]
Um...
[mutters] Okay.
[chimes]
[line rings]
[woman] Police operator.
Hi... Hello. Um, yes. Okay.
My laptop was stolen,
and I can see it.
- [clears throat] - So, it's not stolen?
N-N-No. No, it's still... Ä°t's still stolen.
Um, my phone...
You know, my phone is saying where it is.
I-I have the address.
So, I need somebody to go there
before they, like, turn it off or whatever.
Um... [clears throat]
We can include that information in your report,
but we cannot send units out at this time.
Would you like to include that information in the report?
What? What? Why?
They need a search warrant to dispatch units for this.
No, because you-you don't have to search.
We cannot send units out at this time.
No, because I can...
- I know it's right here, okay? - Ma'am.
- It's on the fucking phone. - Ma'am.
- I'm looking... I'm looking at it.
I can give you the address. It's on my fucking phone.
- It is on my fucking phone! - Ma'am.
We can include that information in the report, but we cannot
- send units out at this time. - Oh, you...
[gasps, pants]
[cell phone chiming]
[dog barks]
â™ª Party's getting late Nothing to waste â™ª
â™ª Gotta find somebody that'll give me some face â™ª
â™ª It's not true â™ª
â™ª Ain't no lie â™ª
â™ª I don't give a fuck if it's a girl or a guy â™ª
â™ª You better tell, girl â™ª
â™ª Check my grill, girl â™ª
â™ª I got shit up in my grill, girl Put this in my music â™ª
[shouts, indistinct]
I got the fucking watermelon!
â™ª Let's go, girl â™ª
â™ª Check my grill, girl â™ª
â™ª I got shit up in my grill, girl Put this in my music â™ª
â™ª I can't be running round with shit up in my grill, girl â™ª
â™ª You better tell, girl â™ª
- [alarm blares] - Oh.
[tires squealing]
[ring tone]
Hey. Uh, Angie's closing tonight.
Actually, I was kind of wondering, uh, what you were up to.
Me?
[farting]
[giggles]
Uh, what's up?
[girl] I did a frog.
Oh.
You know what? It's nothing. Don't... Never mind.
[knocking]
- I need backup. - Okay.
You got those ninja sticks?
- Nunchaku is an Okinawan weapon... - Fine, fine.
- â€œNinjas,â€
I've got a better idea.
- Are you familiar with the morning star? - No...
- Lights out. - Great.
- I just need you to ride with me. - Right on.
- I'm Ruth. - Tony.
- Nice to meet you. - Cool.
- [engine stops] - There.
Our Father, who art in heaven,
grant me the strength...
in the heat of battle...
and protect me...
[continues, indistinct]
Amen.
[sighs]
Were you praying?
You asked for help, I asked for help.
That's how things get done.
Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you.
[rap music, muffled]
My computer is inside that house.
Say what?
[train whistle blowing]
I don't know what the fuck that is.
Okay.
We don't want any trouble.
My computer was stolen,
and this says that it's in there.
I just want it back. There's no questions...
So, can you get it?
I can get deez nuts.
[laughing]
You can get these nuts?
All right, tough guy.
- You had your chance. - Oh.
Geez.
[grunts, groaning]
- Oh, my God. - Oh, fuck. Oh!
Are you okay?
I'm really...
[music blaring]
Dude, what'd you do to Keith?
Dude!
The fuck you doing?
Yo. Yo. Yo!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. - [glass shatters]
Dude, stop!
Both you motherfuckers better drag your...
Violence is not power! It's like the absence of power!
Get on outta here, 'fore I get my keys out and fuck you both the fuck up!
Can't believe you just walked...
Super inappropriate, man.
[chiming]
Shit.
- [music stops] - [chiming stops]
Thank you.
Actually, I need the power cord.
Thank you.
It doesn't feel very good...
when people you don't know come into your house
and steal your shit, does it?
Now where's the silver...
and the medicine?
Uh, I got some Theraflu...
but no silver.
And I didn't steal that. I paid good money for it.
- What are you talking about? - I bought it.
You bought it? From where?
Killer Sills'.
Ki... What is that?
Consignment shop out the way.
Dracula-lookin' motherfucker. He'll sell you anything.
She got her first communion bracelet there.
It's very pretty.
Does he have silverware?
Okay.
- Write it down. - Uh, I can drop a pin for you.
No, man, on paper.
[writing]
Thank you.
That's how hard I threw it.
â™ª Oh, hot chili mama â™ª
â™ª Oh â™ª
Oh, yeah.
- [water splashes] - [moans]
[rock music, muffled]
[music continues]
Um, the guest bathroom is downstairs.
It's okay. It was an emergency.
[chattering]
â™ª It's all that matters anyway â™ª
[woman] Oh, that's him right there.
[man] I'll be right back.
â™ª Here we are â™ª
Hey there. You're a guest of Miranda's, right?
Right. John.
You guys have a beautiful home.
Remind me, how do you know Miranda again?
Uh, from work. She's been a great mentor. I'm learning so much.
- Stop. I'm gonna call the police. - Come on, man.
Oh, there you are. Come on.
[grunts]
[groaning]
[woman screams]
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God. - [dog barking]
Get help.
[grunts]
[engine starts]
Oh.
[whispers] Marshall?
This way.
[clears throat]
Oh, yeah.
Now we're cookin' with gas.
[kisses]
We're almost there, my monkeys.
[snoring softly]
[man] â™ª Sparkle, flashing lights â™ª
â™ª Hot sugar fireballs â™ª
â™ª And black lace and spirit gum â™ª
â™ª Cold rubbin' alcohol â™ª
â™ª And I thought you would â™ª
â™ª Call me by now â™ª
â™ª Couple of days went by on â™ª
â™ª It only hurts me all the time â™ª
[whines]
â™ª On â™ª
[man] â™ª Let me tell you something you â™ª
â™ª About the history of the man â™ª
â™ª He's got nothing to lose â™ª
Maybe we should hold hands.
Like we're engaged.
[Ruth] Okay.
[clears throat]
â™ª It's the history of the man â™ª
What are you doing, little guy?
There you are, you son of a bitch. You're on and stay on.
- [clattering] - You piece...
What the hell is this here?
[muttering]
Good afternoon.
Hi.
Yes. Hello.
Um...
we were just wondering, um...
- Wondering... - [bell dings]
You like music?
- Yeah. - Yeah, I think everyone...
Five preset tones.
Three unique demo modes.
- That's so great. - We don't really need...
- Here. - [upbeat music]
- Really, thank you. - And...
- No, thank you. - [music changes rhythm]
And...
[tempo slows]
Huh.
Okay, we... we're really just looking for, um, some antique silver service.
If you don't like music...
[music stops]
You can just say so.
Silver.
Silver coins,
silver polish...
silver bullets.
Is your newer stuff in any particular place or...?
They're antiques.
- Yeah, I just mean, um... - [bell dings]
Got a customer.
[clattering]
[no audible dialogue]
This is it.
You sure?
Yeah.
â€œSally Kimke.â€
Wow.
Here.
Go start the car.
Okay, okay.
Go.
[old man] Hundred for these.
- Final. - Well, uh, they were my mom's.
[old man] So take 'em to a regulated outfit.
Okay, okay.
[engine starts]
Sure are unloading yourself these days.
Well, we're moving away, so...
[chuckles] You're moving?
- Yeah, we're moving. - Everybody's moving, kid.
Thanks a lot for your time.
Yeah, we're going to Las Vegas.
- Yeah? Yeah? - Yeah.
Yeah, well, don't lose it in Las Vegas.
Hey!
Hey, lady, that... Wait, that...
Come on back here!
Hey, come back here! Hey!
Hey, lady! You didn't pay for that!
This is stolen property.
No, no, no, no.
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.
It belongs to me.
No, you come back here, lady.
[grunts]
Oh, God. Oh, God, sir.
I...
I di... Are you okay?
I di...
You...
You hit me.
I'm sorry.
- [grunts] - [snaps]
[gasping]
[panting]
- Oh, my God. - Side kick.
That was a side kick.
[Ruth] It was them.
Is he...?
[woman on PA] Nurse Wilson, Triage 2.
Nurse Wilson, T-2.
Caught it in the mail slot, huh?
Yes. Yep.
Must've really slammed it hard.
Yeah, slammed the shit out of it.
Be careful with these.
No alcohol, no driving.
You pivot on the ball of your foot and snap your hips out at the same time.
That transmits a huge amount of power outward through the leg.
It-It's devastating when deployed correctly.
[woman] Get the fuck out of here, you son of a bitch!
What are we doing?
Um...
whatever you want.
What are we doing... here, the world?
Trying to be good.
Or be better.
What about me? Am I good?
Yeah. Of course you are.
I clubbed an old man.
Right, but in combat situation...
I'm so sorry.
Sorry?
I should be thanking you.
I-I-I don't...
I don't really have too many friends.
I've been told I'm obnoxious.
But today, I felt...
I felt electric.
I don't want to die.
You won't.
Not right now?
It's just gonna be black.
No, it won't.
Yes, it will, Tony.
It's just gonna be like... [fingers snap]
Like when you turn off a TV.
Hey, uh, if you want, I was gonna catch an afternoon service.
I think you'd like it.
Minister's so funny. Rev. Bill.
Should be in stand-up. [continues, muffled]
[man] â™ª Headless and all alone â™ª
â™ª Shiver and say â™ª
â™ª The words â™ª
â™ª Of every lie you've heard â™ª
â™ª First I'm gonna make it â™ª
â™ª Then I'm gonna break it till it falls apart â™ª
â™ª Hating all the faking â™ª
- â™ª And shaking while I'm breaking â™ª - [no audible dialogue]
â™ª Your brittle heart â™ª
â™ª Billy stands â™ª
â™ª Made of stone â™ª
â™ª Charlie clown â™ª
â™ª No way home â™ª
â™ª Bring on the headless horses â™ª
â™ª Wherever they may roam â™ª
â™ª Shiver and say â™ª
â™ª The words â™ª
â™ª Of every lie you've heard â™ª
â™ª First I'm gonna make it â™ª
â™ª Then I'm gonna break it till it falls apart â™ª
â™ª Hating all the faking â™ª
â™ª And shaking while you're breaking my brittle heart â™ª
[hard rock music]
[laughing]
[sniffs, clears throat]
Y'all been sleeping in that van over there?
- No. - Really?
'Cause one of you three stinks.
[laughs]
It's pork chops. We just dropped your mom off.
[laughing]
[lid opens]
Come on, you fuckin' comedian.
[clangs]
Goddamn.
Jesus, you get this one out of a fuckin' shipwreck?
[big man] It's a stickup, not brain surgery.
You get what you pay for, and you can barely pay for that.
I'm glad that we could finally...
[groans]
Bring my mom into it. [Sighs]
[engines revving]
[sighs]
Fuck.
[sighs]
How's the finger?
Those fuckers got away.
What about the tag number?
I didn't get the tag number, so...
Oh. I did.
Didn't I say that?
No.
I did.
It's all just ones and zeros.
Binary data connected by threads, like a web.
Yeah. I mean, it's called the Web.
Just gotta know how to dodge the spiders.
Dude. I'm reading this one.
Don't tell me what happens! I hate that.
You're so sly, but so am I.
- [beeping] - [woman] Oh, yeah.
- Oops. - [button clicks]
That was a glitch. That needed a reboot anyway.
I... didn't really see anything.
Open sesame.
Oh. Uh, need a credit card.
Gotcha.
Christian Rumack.
- Hmm. - [pencil tapping]
Well...
that is...
That's something.
That's something. What do you, uh...
Wh-What do you do, Miss Kimke?
Uh... Well, I'm a nursing assistant.
Now, suppose I came down to where you do that...
Your hospital...
It's a post-op facility.
Okay.
Well, suppose I came down there and I said, â€œYou know,
maybe not that medication, Ruth,
maybe this one instead, don't ya think?â€
No, that's what...
That's not what I meant by...
You present a certainty
that the owner of a vehicle you happened to see at a garage sale
is the same individual who burglarized your home.
- And... - His footprint.
And that his foot,
according to this,
is made out of scrambled eggs.
No. Uh, no, sir.
That is not... Okay.
So...
I... [clears throat] I located my computer...
Right. I-I understand the chain of events as you tell them.
Okay.
Did it not occur to you that the people who had your computer in the first place
were the same ones that broke into your home?
- Yeah. But... - Occam's Razor and whatnot.
What?
Did it not occur to you that approaching a criminal suspect without official capacity
is a good way to get your wig knocked off?
Let me see your hand.
- Can I see it? - It's nothing.
Can I see it?
That's what I thought. Yeah.
What happened to your finger?
Ruth, look at me.
- Were you engaged in a confrontation? - No, it was an accident.
Have you been able to replace your medications?
- I see. I see. - I'll take that as a no.
Okay.
[scoffs]
I mean, why...?
Why do you not want to help me?
- Help you? - Yeah. I just... Why...?
- Isn't it your job? - My job.
Yeah.
I am doing my job.
You're asking me about my job right now.
- Yeah, I'm coming in here... - You come into my workplace...
- I have things to help you... - and you ask me about my job.
You think just because you left your door wide open
for some punk to stroll right in,
that the universe now somehow revolves around you?
Well, grow up.
We had a man beaten unconscious in his driveway.
- That's awful. - Yeah, it's awful.
And now... now, Ruth, he has skull fragments in his brain.
The world is bigger than your silverware.
People are experiencing bigger problems.
There are people out there...
[crying quietly]
[sighs, panting]
I'm, uh...
I'm being divorced.
First time I said it out loud.
Sir, I'm very...
Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm. Move it. Move the hand.
Go home, Ruth.
This is the guy.
No, it is not.
And if you engage in vigilante action or mess around with this again,
I will be a bigger problem than your busted finger.
Do you follow me?
[stereo plays loud dance music]
[volume lowers]
[exhales]
What now?
Pick your shit up.
Excuse me.
Must've robbed a ton of houses.
[car door closes]
[doorbell rings]
[laughing]
Oh, excuse me. I just was...
- Good morning, ma'am. I... - Police.
Okay. May we have a moment of your time?
Well, I don't see why not.
[laughs]
Come on in.
Welcome to my home. Make yourselves comfortable.
Go on in the sittin' room, sit on one of those couches.
They're kinda new. They're real comfortable.
- Can I get you a cup of coffee? - Not necessary.
Um, no, thank you.
It's no trouble. I just press a button on the machine... boop!
It'll make a cappuccino too. It's like AI, like a spaceship.
- Do you have cashew milk? - In that case...
I think I can find something.
[sighs] Any kind of nut milk is good?
I like nut milk.
You know, my niece Cameron, she can't have dairy,
so I always have, like, hazelnut milk or...
You know, they do this Brazil nut thing now.
It's actually pretty good.
I need to speak with Christian Rumack.
- Is he here? - [laughs]
Well, he is still out with his friends.
I expect him back God knows when. Talk about what?
Choices he made.
[snorting laugh]
Well, I ought to make sandwiches then because that could take all day.
Like sandwiches?
You hungry?
I'm never hungry.
I used to get hungry a lot, but I don't really get hungry anymore.
Okay, here we go.
Here you go, sweetie, with that nut milk.
Thank you.
- And here you go. - Thanks.
You're welcome.
- So, I was just wondering... - A machine did this?
Mm-hmm. Yup.
Huh.
I worked at Borders for a while.
Oh, the bookstore?
Yeah, but they had a cafÃ© too. I got pretty good with the steamer.
- Mmm. - Could do smiley faces, winking faces.
Certain kinds of centaurs, oak leaves,
snowmen, diagram of an atom.
- Wow. - Flaming swords, Kevin.
- Quite a skill. - Do you know...
- Hmm? - Christian's whereabouts
the day before yesterday?
[laughing] Oh, well...
Honey, I barely know his whereabouts any day.
But... he does have a job?
Well, some would say that's all he has.
- What's he do? - Mmm.
Um...
Lawyer, you know.
[laughing]
[snorting]
[clears throat]
Is he, uh... Is he in his van now?
Oh. Oh, no, no, no, no.
That's Chris Junior you're talking about.
Yeah, Christian got him that van for his 16th if he got all B's.
He flunked, but he got to keep it anyway.
Just sayin'.
Do you know where your son is now?
Ooh, whoa. Stepson.
I have no idea where he is.
He got into drugs.
He was in jail a little bit for that.
And then he started hanging around with all the people he met in there.
Bunch of creeps.
His father recently cut him off.
Canceled his ATM cards, everything.
You know, TMI...
Chrissy always made me kinda nervous...
even before all that.
Did you ever see The Omen?
That little kid.
Never know.
- He'd just throw you down the stairs. - The hell is this?
Oh! Well, the police are asking about Chrissy.
Is that your shit box out front?
- Yes, but... - Hands!
- [cup shatters] - Put 'em up, now.
Oh, people. Can you... [sighs]
- Don't move. - Oh, my God.
- [man] Clear! - Of course it's clear.
- Meredith. - What?
- Are you retarded? - What?
Don't you dare use the â€œRâ€
- [man] Master bedroom, clear! - Those are not police.
Yeah, I know that.
- Then why are you talking to them? - Because I'm fucking bored!
[man] Massage room, clear!
You are lucky all we're doing is talking.
Don't flatter yourself, baby.
Walden Pond room, clear!
Well, I guess I will just get some soda for the rug.
We're all clear.
[clears throat]
Come home to this shit.
Okay. Who...? [Sighs]
- Who are you? - I invoke the Fifth Amendment.
- My name is Ruth... - [laughs]
And why are you here?
Your son broke into my house and stole my stuff.
- [banging] - Knock it off!
- Well, what... - [loud clattering]
What does that have to do with me?
I thought he lived here.
So you impersonate cops, why?
To find him in case he wasn't here.
To what end?
[Ruth] To confront him.
â€œHow dare you. Wah, wah.â€
Yeah. Yes. Exactly.
You can't do that to people.
You say that like it means something.
Look, I don't condone my son's behavior,
but anyone can do anything if you let them.
Huh?
Welcome to the world.
I see why he turned out like he did.
You have kids?
Uh-uh. So you have no idea what you're talking about, do you?
Christian has had more advantages and opportunities
than 99.9% of the people on this planet.
And that's because of me.
So don't come to me with this nature-nurture horseshit.
All right? How much?
I don't want a payoff.
Well, then I'm confused. What do you want?
For people to not be assholes.
Mm-hmm.
Well, you know, it's probably gonna stain.